#CoachingConversationNo3 - On practice, and training, between coaching sessions

#CoachingConversationNo3 - On practice, and training, between coaching sessions

Poh-Sun Goh

21 June 2021, 0628am, Singapore Time

Client: Please elaborate on your last statement in our initial conversation, before our first coaching conversation - 'What actions and practices follow on from this coaching session.'?

Coach: Just as I focus on 'deep listening' and 'observation' during our coaching sessions, and we use deliberate 'pauses', during our sessions to give space, and time for both you, and me to reflect upon the coaching process [introduce idea of a blank page, a clean slate, an open space, silence; and later explore the idea of mindful awareness and observation of oneself 'in-action' vs. initial practice of mindful awareness and observation through reflection 'after-action']; I will ask you to engage in the following three 'practices' in between our coaching sessions.

1) Firstly, when you awake each morning, before getting out of bed, and whilst your eyes remain closed, spend a few moments (as short or long as you feel you require), to first feel your body, then observe your breathing, and express happiness, joy and gratitude for the start of another day [where you, even if you are experiencing physical pain (or are pain free), emotional worries (or are care-free), or have pressing tasks and burdens (or are joyfully and happily able to have the option of what you choose to take on, or not, add to your day's journey 'load') or not]. 

You have a blank slate, an unwritten page of your life.

Make some choices, of what you will prioritise, how you choose to feel, move, and think. And do one of these. Immediately. 

Practice this. Every day. [This daily practice is non-negotiable, and part of our coaching agreement, as a regular daily practice you will undertake, including the following two practices below].

2) Secondly, during the day, and evening, intermittently pause, physically-mentally-emotionally (if safe to do so!), and briefly touch base mindfully, and observe where you are, what you are doing, feeling and thinking. Just observe. Lightly. Without attachment.

3) Lastly, at the end of the day, before going to sleep, switch off all electronic devices (for at least 30 minutes before bedtime); connect and spend time, with full attention on your loved ones, your family, and take a precious private moment for yourself [this is not negotiable, at least 5 minutes alone private time with and for yourself], and then write a single reflection on a dairy-journal next to your bed. Read this first thing when you sit up from bed tomorrow morning. This reflection is a record of what you observed during the day, how you listened to your body-mind-heart/emotions, what went well, or not, and a single wish for tomorrow. [This last statement, a single wish for tomorrow is non negotiable and a mandatory 'practice'.] 

As you physically write in your diary journal (analogue please, not digital), feel, really 'feel' and engage with this process, with mindfulness, awareness, and a light heart. Let go of all your worries, concerns, and ambitions immediately after you have written this reflection in your life journal-diary. Physically, emotionally, and in your mind 'let go' of the day, release all your thoughts-emotions-worries-ambitions-physical tensions; and have a dreamless, blissful sleep. Release the day into your journal. Rest and sleep the innocent sleep of childhood.

Bring this diary-journal to our next coaching session.

4 Minutes To Start Your Day Right! MORNING MOTIVATION and Positivity! (YouTube)

WATCH THIS EVERYDAY AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE - Denzel Washington Motivational Speech 2021 (YouTube)

Admiral McRaven Leaves the Audience SPEECHLESS | One of the Best Motivational Speeches (YouTube)

#CoachingConversationNo2

Poh-Sun Goh

21 June 2021, 0352am, Singapore Time

Client: Will you go beyond just listening, and observing my body-emotion-language, what I bring up and how I do this, how I bring myself to the world or present myself to the world?

Will we explore specific areas of my life - like career, home-life, health (physical, emotional and mental), meaning and purpose?

Will we discuss specific industry specific, and technical aspects of improving my life in healthcare, medicine, nursing, the biomedical sciences; management and leadership?

Coach: We will do all of the above. My main focus as coach will be you, the client. What you bring up. How you bring yourself and present yourself (physically, emotionally and using language) when you discuss areas of your life. This is my coaching hat.

I will dynamically and responsively change hats from the role of a 'general' or 'generic' coach or coaching; to more industry or area specific coaching as you require. As you know I have a background in both clinical practice, as well as education (undergraduate, postgraduate, lifelong learning, and faculty development - training teachers), medical and education research, management and leadership in healthcare, public speaking (including presenting to small groups, large groups, conference settings, and in live media), use of your voice and body (informed from voice coaching, and physical theatre practice), sports (specifically tennis, and the martial arts - we can explore tae kwon do, karate [Shotokan, Kempo], aikido, wing chun, fencing, boxing, muay thai, tai chi; and insights from mindfulness practice, meditation [including TM or transcendental meditation, and Zen meditation], yoga [both physical, mental, and dynamic breathing practices from yoga]. 

We can also explore 'life' coaching, including time management, finding balance, finding and discovering 'your' personal meaning and purpose, including exploring 'Ikigai'; exploring lessons from anthropology [including history of work, and why we work], and ideas from positive psychology.

If you desire, we can also explore the biological and scientific underpinnings of ontological coaching [my clinical background both an educator and learning scientist, and medical graduate + diagnostic neuroradiologist - brain radiologist - focusing on what imaging and biological science, and learning science, including published research in the biological sciences as well as performance and learning science;] and how this informs both the coaching process, and how these insights can specifically apply to you - in your professional and personal life.

#CoachingConversationNo1 (with client)

Poh-Sun Goh

20 June 2021, 0720pm, Singapore Time

Client: What will we be doing during our Coaching conversation?

Coach: I will be focused on listening, and observing - what you say, and how you say it (how you embody yourself to the world - to me - your posture, words, tone, facial expressions, emotion and mood).

Intermittently, I will signal you to pause, to allow both you, and me, to collect your/my thoughts, touch base with each other, to check that you feel you are communicating what you intend, to encourage you to reflect on what you have shared, and to explore areas which you have shared. 

Intermittently, I will also get you to undertake several 'micro-exercises' (if necessary) to shift your mood (for example by shifting your posture - exploring being open, flexible, grounded and resolute; by shifting your breathing - deeper, slower, quicker, more mindfully; and by sharing general frames of mental reference and mental models to view yourself-your world.

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Ontological Coaching Session Script - TAPOM Program (Version 1.1, by Poh Sun Goh, 19 June 2021, 0645am; updated Version 2.1, 19 June 2021, 0337pm; and Version 3.1, 21 June 2021, 0440am, Singapore Time)

Hi …

Over lunch or coffee, (30 minutes to one hour), let me offer you an experience of an ontological coaching process, with you as the person being coached, and me taking on the role of coach.

With your permission, I will digitally record this session, for your records and to review, and also to allow my coach to analyse our interaction. His feedback and comments on our session will be shared with both myself, and you by email.

This whole process will be confidential between you, me and my coach.

Let’s start.

I will begin by getting some information about your background, and our current practice and work setting, for the benefit of my coach (who will review our interaction as a digital audio file).

Tell me about your background, and your personal and professional aspirations and goals (at work).

I will be both listening and taking notes to take our discussions further into areas that you bring up.

[Will next spend at least 10 to 20 minutes listening, taking notes, asking open ended and follow up questions, and specifically not offering any advice]

Intermittently, will touch base, and summarise my observations, to ‘fact check’ and ‘impression check’ with my ‘client’.

We have spent the last 15 to 30 minutes or so interacting and exploring areas of your interest, concerns and priorities. 

Let me summarise these to make sure I have ‘heard’ you accurately and completely. 

Please let me know what insights you have gained from this process.

What would you like to ask me specifically about areas which you have brought up?

What actions and practices follow on from this coaching session.

[At 30 minutes, or end of lunch hour, bring session to close, thank client, and promise to email digital file to both client and my coach as three individual confidential email (client, myself and my coach), for my coach to then add his comments to this interaction, for both myself, and my client]

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