Organising 1st meeting - Group 'learning session' (see example below):
“When you listen to someone, you should give up all your preconceived ideas and your subjective opinions; you should just listen to him, just observe what his way is. We put very little emphasis on right and wrong or good and bad. We just see things as they are with him, and accept them. This is how we communicate with each other. Usually when you listen to some statement, you hear it as a kind of echo of yourself. You are actually listening to your own opinion. If it agrees with your opinion you may accept it, but if it does not, you will reject it or you may not even really hear it.”
― Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind: Informal Talks on Zen Meditation and Practice
"Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart. Even if he says things that are full of wrong perceptions, full of bitterness, you are still capable of continuing to listen with compassion. Because you know that listening like that, you give that person a chance to suffer less. If you want to help him to correct his perception, you wait for another time. For now, you don't interrupt. You don't argue. If you do, he loses his chance. You just listen with compassion and help him to suffer less. One hour like that can bring transformation and healing. " - Thich Nhat Hanh
above quote from blog below (accessed 6 June 2021)
http://cultureofempathy.com/references/Experts/Thich-Nhat-Hanh.htm
"There is courage in pure listening. We practice listening with an open heart, and with the intention only to understand. We listen without defensiveness, and without the need to fix, instruct, or change the other person. We mindfully choose silence over speech, and resist saying the wrong thing at the tempting moment." - Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.
above quote from blog below (accessed 6 June 2021)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/blog/the-dance-connection/201004/living-courageously-heres-how
Jon Kabat-Zinn Defines Mindfulness (YouTube)
Jon Kabat-Zinn: Listening is an Act of Love (YouTube)
"Mindfulness Ιn Everyday Life" Jon Kabat Zinn with Oprah Winfrey (YouTube)
Body Language of Leaders - What You Can Learn From the Best (YouTube)
How to Start a Speech (YouTube)
“Unhappy is he who depends on success to be happy,” - Alex Dias Ribeiro, former Formula 1 driver. “For such a person, the end of a successful career is the end of the line. His destiny is to die of bitterness or to search for more success in other careers and to go on living from success to success until he falls dead. In this case, there will not be life after success.” quoted in article ‘Success Addicts’ Choose Being Special Over Being Happy: The pursuit of achievement distracts from the deeply ordinary activities and relationships that make life meaningful." by Arthur C. Brooks in The Atlantic, accessed on 16 September 2021, available on link below
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/07/why-success-wont-make-you-happy/614731/
https://pohsungoh.blogspot.com/2021/09/sustainable-purposeful-living.html
"To finish the moment, to find the journey's end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"To live the greatest number of good hours is wisdom." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Find the journey's end in every step." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
"The end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started." - T. S. Eliot
". . . long journeys are strange things: if we were always to continue in the same mind we are in at the end of a journey, we should never stir from the place we were then in . . ." - Marie de Rabutin-Chantal, marquise de Sevigne
“When you reach the end of what you should know, you will be at the beginning of what you should sense.” - Kahlil Gibrán, Sand and Foam
“First lines did not define last pages in real life the way they did in books.” - Stephanie Butland, Lost For Words
"Life's all about choices. Everyone's destination is the same; only the paths are different." - Sushmita Sen
"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it." - Greg Anderson
"The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination." - Carl Rogers
"Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome." - Arthur Ashe
"One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things." - Henry Miller
⬇
Poh-Sun Goh, 16 September 2021, 0258pm, Singapore Time
Conversation with YLLSOM Phase 1 student(s) / Clinical Group members below:
Hello,
Thank you for approaching me (directly, via email) for coaching. We will be conducting our coaching session over Zoom, or in person.
#Why, before #What and #How
"#WhyCoaching - Benefits: Simply put, (ontological) coaching will make you a better #Observer of yourself - raising your awareness of #HowYouShowUp, with the coaching, and in-between coaching practice sessions raising #Awareness of your #Emotion(s) and #Moods, your #Thinking, use of #Language and #Speech, and how you present yourself #Somatically, with your #Body(Movements, Posture, and non-verbal communication). This process is intended to make you a much better listener and observer of both yourself, and others - your patients and their families, and members of the clinical teams you will work together with. By being a better observer of yourself, you will progressively develop more capacity to self-regulate your emotions and moods, thinking and speech, and actions; and, by doing this, have increasing capacity to positively impact the world your inhabit, both professionally, and socially, including with your loved ones and family. Not to mention developing a heightened awareness and capacity for making life and professional choices regarding allocation and use of time, your energy and other resources, and your health." - Poh-Sun Goh, 15 September 2021, 0641am, Singapore Time
#What (is the Coaching Process like)
In the pedagogy of the coaching process, one key objective is to train you as a self-aware observer of how you 'show-up', what your #Emotion(al) state is and how you can shape this, how you present yourself outwardly, your #Body(posture, and use of non-verbal communication), and your #Language (including #Thinking, #MentalFramesOfReference, #Speech) - and through observation and awareness of #BEL or #Body, #Emotion and #Language, you can move from being an #Observer to intentionally choose your #Actions to produce 'new', better, and more effective #Results - to apply the #OAR model. My 'listening', questions, and feedback to you will be the primary 'mirror' to assist you in your coaching and self-awareness / self-development journey (as part of this coaching process). You own 'the goal' (you choose what you want to work on, and focus on). My role as coach is to manage 'the coaching process'.
#How (will we proceed)
Do note that the coaching process is all about you, the client. After an informal get-to-know-you conversation, and discussion about the coaching process and a client-coach confidentiality (including coaching ethics and safety) agreement; we will spend our time focused on you, your goals, and concerns. I will spend a major portion of our time intentionally and actively listening to you; intermittently exploring areas you have brought up relevant to you, clarifying and summarising what you have brought up. We will wrap up each coaching conversation planning activities you can undertake before our next coaching session-conversation.
How is Coaching different from Teaching and Instructing?
This coaching process is different from teaching, instructing, mentoring, supervising and guiding - where the teacher/instructor/mentor/supervisor/guide is the 'content expert', who transfers professional know-how to students and practitioners-in-training.
Making and Taking Notes, and tools to aid you in your Reflection and Reflective Practice
A digital record is one tool for you to 'see' and observe yourself, as an external observer, when you review or play back these recordings (which may be in digital written, illustrated, audio or video recording format). You have agency and total freedom to choose which set of tools we will use.
My coaching conversation with you, your reflections (during) and after each session and notes you make and reflect upon are all a 'mirror' and tool which you can choose to use. If you wish to make a digital audio record, and with your permission, I can make a digital audio record of our conversions, and email this to you after our conversation [just between us, in strictest confidence].
As with any professional conversation, as the coachee or client, you have the option, and full agency to pause, postpone, or terminate a coaching session at any time you choose to.
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